


Hit & Miss

by The_TrashLifeisReal (NixxBeats0_0)



Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Illegal Activities, Implied/Referenced Depresssion, Implied/Referenced Gang Affiliations and Activities, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9040262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NixxBeats0_0/pseuds/The_TrashLifeisReal
Summary: For $100 000 a lot of things are possible.





	1. A New Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UnicornBliss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornBliss/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [NCTprompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCTprompts) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>  Taeyong is a hitman. Taeil is suicidal. While assigned to end the older's life, Taeyong realizes Taeil is worth more than just a hundred thousand dollars. 
> 
>  
> 
> UnicornBliss!!!  
> I slaved over my broken and shitty laptop for 4 days to give you what ever comes after this note, be prepared, it could go either or depending on my mood. But i really hope i didn't screwup your expectations /too much/.  
> Love (a very timid)  
> Nix.

**From:** sailormoon94  
**Sent:** 25 June 2016  
**To:** me  
**Subject:** Looking for Mr Lee from BesaMafia.kr

Is this the right email address?

 

 

Taeyong scoffed as he opened the new portal to his newest email account, so encryption heavy even his computer savvy roommate Mark had a hard time cracking it… though it probably also has to do with the fact that Mark was the black hat hacker who created the encryptions. This new client of his was at least smart enough to not just go off on a rant about who he is and what he needs done and why he would contact a guy like Taeyong in the first place. Taeyong did let out an unexpected chuckle at the username though, earning a weird look from Yuta eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen island.

 

 

**From:** me  
**Sent:** 25 June 2016  
**To:** sailormoon94  
**Subject:** Confirmed Delivery

I do not need to know your name and you do not need to know mine no phone calls on burners and forget the bullshit you watch in movies about coded messages in your morning paper. I am to be paid $100 000 cash direct to previously mentioned bid coin account once the job is done, it is up to you whether or not you want proof of job completion.  All I need from you Mr Sailormoon is details, a possible address or habit locations and a picture.

 

 

 

Contrary to popular believe (every one of Taeyong’s rotten friends) he had a lot to do today. After, conformation from his new client he would go scouting and survey his newly assigned target, he had to do grocery shopping and he had to prepare supper with the newly brought groceries and then go to bed early because he had an early morning Physics Lab the following day. It may not be as exhilarating as Yuta’s delivery and pick up runs or Mark’s exciting (or so the young techie says) new coding program that could short circuit any security system or Hansol and Johnny out beating the shit out of people still owing their group money or even Doyoung painting quietly in the art studio they built for him. Taeyong didn’t exactly want to think about what Ten was doing with  _whom_  for the duration of the day but – yeah, Ten was having a grand old time wherever the fuck he was.

“Hey Taeyong hyung,”

Taeyong looked over his shoulder to see Mark swaying from foot to foot eyes shifting uneasily behind his thin, gold framed glasses. Taeyong grunted – which was as good as  _I’m listening_  anyone could get from him.

“Uh, well you know that Doyoung hyung doesn’t go out as much any more so, um, Haechan asked if he could come over to, you know see how hyung is.”

Taeyong’s eyes hardened, “Mark,”

“Hyung, I know, I know we technically shouldn’t allow people here, but it’s Haechan.” Mark then chose that moment to break out the wide puppy eyes.

Taeyong pinched the skin at the bridge of his nose – he did not want to deal with the never ending saga of Mark’s non-existent love life but ever since they moved to downtown Seoul – Kim Haechan had been an infatuation that rivalled Mark’s love for computers. He didn’t need this. Damn it, why was he treated like some kind of leader when all he was,  _was nothing but a monster_.

He shook his head from those thoughts quickly. Mark looked panicked but then relaxed at the words that came next. “Fine, just warn the others that Haechan will be around so they’ll have to behave and let me know if I need to set an extra plate for dinner tonight.”

“Thanks hyung, seriously.” Mark’s eyes shined truly at those words and Taeyong got one of those awful pangs in his chest when he was reminded once again how  _young_ Mark was to be stuck in the business they dealt with.

“Yeah, yeah just don’t do anything disgusting in front of Doyoung again unless you want him to break another one of your anime hard drives,” Taeyong smirked.

Mark’s face burst bright red and his facial expression seemed to not know whether to be embarrassed or haunted at that memory, “I learned my lesson.” He said in a strangled voice.

Taeyong laughed at Mark’s stiffly walking back and then looked back down to find a new email.

 

 

**From:** sailormoon94  
**Sent:** 25 June 2016  
**To:** me  
**Subject:** RE: Confirmed Delivery  
**Attachment(s):** image.png, image(2).png, screenshot.jpeg

I attached two photos of him, his name is Moon Taeil. He frequents a rundown coffee shop just on the outskirts of downtown Seoul and owns a bookshop two streets down from it.  I also attached a google image shot of the coffee shop and his bookshop; he lives in the loft upstairs (of the bookshop, not the coffee shop).  He has nothing and no one to rely on but the bookshop.  I want it to look like an accident, is this possible?

 

 

 

**From:** me  
**Sent:** 25 June 2016  
**To:** sailormoon94  
**Subject:** RE: Confirmed Delivery

For $100 000 a lot of things are possible.  Would you like the recipient to know who sent me?

 

 

 

**From:** sailormoon94  
**Sent:** 25 June 2016  
**To:** me  
**Subject:** RE: Confirmed Delivery

He should know.  If not, remind him it’s for his father.

 

 

 

**From:** me  
**Sent:** 25 June 2016  
**To:** sailormoon94  
**Subject:** End Communication

Confirmed: Moon Taeil Safe Word: sailormoon94 the above mention is in the case that either I or you feel the hit cannot be completed, do you understand that from this point there should be no further communication through this portal and the emergency email address (where the safe word and only the only safe word) will be sent as a flare signal to contact me?

 

 

 

**From:** sailormoon94  
**Sent:** 25 June 2016  
**To:** me  
**Subject:** RE: End Communication

I understand.

 

 

Taeyong looked through the emails once more, emailed the pictures through to his phone and then went through the procedure of closing down the portal. He had learned a long time ago not to profile his clients, but there was something not adding up with this particular hit. It wasn’t that he cared overly about that fact, he wasn’t joking when he said a hundred thousand dollars could do close to anything, but Taeyong had always preferred killing thugs and gangsters of rival gangs that deserved (in one way of another) to die. Whenever he got contracts that led him to nondescript people, all seemingly ordinary, it made him pause – merely for the fact that it could always come back to him and the others if he didn’t tread with the upmost care. But then again, a hundred thousand dollars could set Mark up for a good University next year, possibly even Seoul National.

“I’m off to buy groceries!” he shout to no one in particular after setting his laptop down and grabbing his car keys.

He walked to the studio where he knew Doyoung was most likely sitting in front of his easel. He found Doyoung there, but what he didn’t expect to find was the easel turned on its side, the canvas in tatters, splashes of paint all over the floor and in front of the mess was Doyoung with tears in his eyes – the younger boy’s shoulders shaking violently with silent sobs. Taeyong instantly crouched in front of Doyoung resting a firm hand on his shoulder. Doyoung startled a bit and Taeyong saw the shock turn to disappointment and then Doyoung turned his head away from him.

Taeyong sighed and quickly looked away from Doyoung’s pitiful form while squashing the urge to throttle Ten.

Doyoung wiped his face with his shirt sleeves and then tapped Taeyong on the shoulder. The younger man pointed to a tube a few feet away from them. When Taeyong went to pick it up he saw that it had left a small trail from where it had obviously fallen out of Doyoung’s grip and then rolled away from his chair in between the wooden slats, Yuta used for his side business, out of reach.

“I’m going grocery shopping,” he said softly. “I can swing by the paint shop if you want to… replace what you lost here.”

There was a soft sigh and then a nod.

Taeyong gripped the handles of Doyoung’s wheelchair but he felt hands gently nudging him away, he looked down to see Doyoung giving him that slightly annoyed look as if to say he was very much an independent 24 year old man that could wheel his own damn wheelchair.

Taeyong chuckled and lifted his hands in the air with an amused, “Sorry tough guy.”

Doyoung rolled his eyes but Taeyong definitely saw the corners of the former’s lips twitch upwards.

On their way out Taeyong switched his keys out for the van keys and as they settled into the van while one of Doyoung’s favourite girl group’s songs playing on the stereo. Taeyong settled to think about this Moon Taeil, which was normal, but he really couldn’t shake the feeling that he was forgetting something. After a short 20 minutes spent driving, Taeyong took the last left and cruised to a stop in front of the Moonlight Bookstore right next to the art supply store Doyoung frequented. He stepped out just as the owner of the bookstore turned the sign from  _open_ to _close_. The short man with chocolate brown hair and soft sad eyes raised his hand and waved at Doyoung wheeling himself next door. Doyoung waved back and stopped when he realised Taeyong was still beside the car. Taeyong locked the car rigidly and then somewhat uneasily walked away from the bookstore front.

Moon Taeil turned around from the store front too and switched off the lights.

\-----

Taeil was quietly stacking the new age sci-fi books – which he lately had to restock more often than he would like to – when the bell over the door chimed and a rowdy bunch of boys walked in. His shoulders immediately stiffened and he felt his skin crawl. These boys had been coming into the store every day for two weeks, one of the main reasons he had to restock the sci-fi section so often, and making Taeil uncomfortable before paying for their books (only after leaving a huge mess in his store) then leaving.

“Hyung,” The one sang from the front of the store, “Oh, Taeil hyunggie we’ve come back for more books! This is a bookstore isn’t it?”

Taeil repressed a shudder as he stepped down from his ladder to go to the front desk where the gang of four teens stood.

The one that Taeil had dubbed as the leader of the group grinned widely when he saw Taeil. “Hyunggie, where were you hiding? We almost tore the store apart looking for you.”

Everyone chuckled. Taeil didn’t.

“If you’re going to buy books then you should, otherwise you should leave.” Though the words were stern Taeil knew he barely had an intimidating bone in his body so his words only held as much venom as his soft voice could muster.

The teens laughed at him some more.

“Fucking hell Taeil hyung is that the best you can do?” that little jerk of a boy cackled. “That was so cute, hyunggie it was like a little kitten getting stepped on. Are you afraid of us or something?”

The crew of pimple faced teens leered at him at the same time, as if scripted.

“Hyunggie, you’re quite pretty aren’t you, I think I’ve told you before right? That my older brother fucks everything with a pretty face and an available hole and he would just  _love_ you, right guys?” his friends cackled again, this time enough to make Taeil feel like retching, he tried not to flinch but gave in when the boy (not older than 17) leaned in. “He’s kind of grumpy lately since his girlfriend left him and he’s been taking it out on me, now if I gave him you as a present I bet he would fucking drool until I could do anything I want. You would help me right, hyunggie? You’re a nice guy, soft and shit. You wouldn’t let my brother beat on me would you?”

Taeil was breathing hard through his nose, he was shaking slightly and his heart thud dully in his chest as if even it had given up.

Before he could say anything the bell over the door chimed again, signalling the arrival of a customer. All the heads in the room snapped towards the door and for the first time Taeil saw the boys all pale and fear in their eyes. A guy Taeil recognised vaguely from around the area, two very tall men – one intimidatingly broad with long middle parted hair and the other with large eyes currently glaring at the teens – and then Doyoung who he knew in passing too.

“What’s going on here?” The one with the large eyes asked, his voice was quiet yet filled with some much authority Taeil was floored.

_His voice never sounded like that_.

Apparently so were the boys as they all but scrambled to the door with their heads bowed, even the talkative ring leader suddenly had nothing to say in the face of the four men in Taeil’s shop. As soon the boys were gone Taeil stared at the four men in turn before turning on his heel and standing behind his counter (a bad insecure gesture he could never quite kick himself out of) but the men went about searching his shelves.

A deep voice asked from between the shelves, “Hyung, what was it that Mark wanted again?”

“…I… shit I don’t know,” the one with large eyes from the rack of books next to Taeil, looking at a romance book. “Johnny?” he called out.

“All I know is it’s a stupid sci-fi, horror or something about… uh, a boy named … Aladdin… wait no Adin!” the other one calls out proudly, with a somewhat cute smile.

Taeil is floored again, who are these guys?

There was a small, strangely strangled sounding, cough and then four small volume books put on the counter.

Doyoung stared intently at Taeil and Taeil stared right back at him. The books he’d put down were one of the newer ones that Taeil had bought in and put on the shelves. Being a bored little bookstore owner did give him one perk – and that was having read nearly every book on his shelves, especially the newer ones. Taeil felt a blush heat up his cheeks and in turn Doyoung’s ears turned pink as he glared up at Taeil.

Almost as if out of nowhere the shorter man of the three standing lifted one of the books and scoffed calling out, “Johnny hyung, Doyoung found it and I think the other ones Mark and Yuta wanted.”

Taeil snatched the book out of the man’s hands as the latter started turning the book around to read the back. The dark haired male blinked at Taeil and his eyes got round and big. Taeil coughed and made as if he hadn’t just offended a possible gangster by snatching something out of his hands to scan the book. He wrapped them in brown paper carefully and avoided eye contact furtively even as the other two crowded the counter.

“Taeyong why are you scaring the poor man,” the large eyed one chastised.

Taeyong scoffed, as Taeil steadfastly kept his head down, “Hey, uhm, I didn’t mean… to… whatever I’ll be in the car–”

There was the sound of the bell over the door chiming and then a curse.

Taeil felt bad, but the embarrassment kept his head down.

“Hey don’t mind him, he’s Taeyong and he’s a brute, I’m Hansol by the way and the other brute behind me is Johnny and this is Doyoung.”

Taeil nodded politely, “I know Doyoung; he buys art supplies next door and comes here every so often, that will be $7,50.” He handed the books over to Doyoung after Hansol paid who clutched them tightly, “I’m Taeil.”

Hansol nodded, “Nice to meet you Taeil.”

“So have you read all the books in this place?” the one named Johnny asked jokingly.

“Uh, yes I have, almost.” Taeil replied softly. “I don’t really like encyclopaedias but most of the autobiographies, all of the second hand books and all of the new books I’ve read.”

The three of them stared at him shocked – people were generally disbelieving when he said that, but the store was small and in his defence he really had little more to do in his life other than read since he never went out.

Johnny was the first to speak, “You’re shitting me.”

“Johnny!”

“But like there must be close over sixteen thousand books in here!”

“16 293,” Taeil said proudly. “I shelved 34 new books in today, b-before those teens came in.”

The three eyed him again and choice to politely not point of his small stutter.

“So, have you read those books?” Hansol said pointing to the books in Doyoung’s lap.

Doyoung shot Taeil a desperate look and the blush that had died down came back with a vengeance, “Y-yes, I’ve read them. They are, uh, quite short and to the point.” Taeil practically whispered.

Johnny’s eyebrows rose, “Okay… what just happened? Why are you suddenly all red?”

Hansol looked at Taeil with suspicious eyes and then finally clued into Doyoung’s red ears and shifting gaze, “So… Taeil what are the books about?”

Taeil so badly wanted his cheeks to stop burning so he focused on a spot just over Hansol’s shoulder, “They a-are a collection of short stories set in futuristic type of new age timeline with t-the occasional inter-species… interactions.” Taeil was proud of the way his voice hardly shook but his blush was as prominent as ever.

“Taeil,” Hansol’s voice intoned sternly. “I think you’re a nice guy so I’ll be real with you a 17 year old boy and his 16 year old friends have been reading these books…”

Taeil’s eyes shot to Hansol’s.

“Is there something worrying about those things?” Hansol pointed once more at Doyoung, at that point being held in place by Johnny’s large hands at the handle bars of his wheelchair.

“Uh, not really,” Taeil squeaked, “They’re harmless, but a bit e-explicit when it comes to the, uh, the inter-species relations.”

“Inter– okay I’m going to need you to be more specific,”

Taeil scratched the back of his neck, “Those books are c-classified as explicit, sci-fi, a-alien erotica.”

There was a bleat of startled laughter before Johnny started laughing out right. Hansol hit him upside the head but Johnny was laughing too hard to care. Doyoung glared at Taeil with something a kin to betrayal in his eyes.

Hansol sighed harshly muttering under his breath, “I cannot believe you kids, seriously just unbelievable, Doyoung even you?”

Doyoung held his head up high, making eye contact only with the rows of books beyond Hansol’s judging gaze.

“Goodbye Taeil,” Hansol sighed as Johnny wiped under his wet eyes.

Johnny clapped Taeil on the back, hard; it was so unexpected Taeil nearly went careening to the floor. “Nice meeting you Taeil,” he smiled brightly.

Taeil watched them leave and smiled to himself they seemed like nice people. They were also lucky to have each other. Throughout the rest of the day, all through the few clients that floated in and out of the shop, his locking up of the protective metal gates and setting the alarm to then heading upstairs to his small and comfortable loft apartment and finally his head laying on his pillow he prominently felt that pit of loneliness and pain yawn wider with his every breath. He tried to calm his breath to no avail. He tossed and turned in his bed as the loss of breath finally released into loud crying and thrashing. His fists clenched, his muscles seized and hurt and he felt that pain, that loneliness and guilt and self-hatred consume him wholly.

There was never anyone to witness his hands reaching into his beside drawer.

No one to see the shine of the dull silver blade.

No one to yell at him to stop – besides a very small part of him but the larger part of him was always louder,  _meaner_ , angrier – when he pressed down hard into the skin on his thighs.

No one to see the small relieved expression on Taeil’s face once he felt the burn of ten open cuts bleeding freely on his thighs and the pain and loneliness fade once more to the background.

It felt good and it felt horrible.

It eased his pain, yet not enough, never enough, but enough so that he could breathe again. Enough for him to throw the blade away and then yell at his weakness, why couldn’t he control it? Why has he so fucking weak, so fucking stupid? He was a mess and he knew it. He wished he could just end it himself but he was weak and scared and would never dare try. The fear and shame over trying and failing to take his life and then having all eyes on him for the rest of his life was a weight equally as oppressive as the fear of the afterlife to him.

So he would settle for this brief relief until the next time a fit hit him and maybe one day it would be over.

Maybe one day…

\-----     

“So let me get this straight you are stalking the girl now instead of asking her out?” Hansol’s outraged laugh was heard throughout the house.

Taeyong tried to tune it out, he had been trying to tune out Hansol and Johnny’s yells for a good 45 minutes if the fact that his show had started and ended with the two yelling at each other was anything to go by.

“Can you guys  _stop_ already?”

“Ten shut the fuck up!” Johnny and Hansol yelled in accord.

Today was one of the few days where Ten slept at home for more than two consecutive days – either to sleep off the hangover that had been trying to catch up with him as he fucked and drank his way through nights and during the day sold at the same club corners he frequented at night  _or_ he was hiding out because a man three times Ten’s size and height caught the idiot shagging their girlfriend or boyfriend six days to Sunday. Taeyong was willing to bet it was the latter.

“Why do you care so much?” Johnny said in a voice that was starting to leak with genuine irritation.

“Because you mope around the house all day and wax poetry about her from when you wake up, until you go to bed, and I’m fucking sick of it because I am unfortunate enough to spend most of my days with you, you fucking dick!”

“Shut up!” Johnny stomped away, “I’ll deal with it.”

Taeyong walked to the kitchen only to nearly collide with a fuming Hansol and sighed glaring up at the older man, “You guys are getting weird again either start fucking again or let him go, hyung. Stop stringing him along.”

“Who asked you damn it!” Hansol screeched throwing a fist Taeyong’s way.

Taeyong took the hit and watched Hansol march up the stairs two at a time and then even from all the way downstairs, in their big ass house, he heard the room to Hansol’s door slam shut. Taeyong looked at the ceiling and sighed heavily, making a split second decision he walked determinedly from the kitchen through the dining room and living room, grabbed his keys from the bowl at the front door and took a coat from the rack, damned if he cared whether it was his or not.

The house was stiflingly uncomfortable to be in.

He didn’t blame any of the members of the house but everyone was too high strung at the moment, one of their growers had recently been busted by the police two days prior which meant less supply and very antsy customers wondering if it would be safe for them buy merchandise from Ten or Yuta and with them living in a large – even if was downtown – double story house in a suburban area with seven grown males (almost eight at that point since Haechan was at their house so often no one was even surprised anymore) and Ten’s very expensive party life did not fucking pay for itself- neither did their supply if no one bought from them.

Before he knew it he was parked in front of Moonlight bookstore, simply sitting in his still and quiet car. He hadn’t been surveying or even really trying to track his Tae– his target’s movements. He really should since they (the guys back home) were looking at a slow month up ahead.

He got out of the car and then someone stumbled into his back, books flying across the cracked asphalt with a somewhat pained cry.

“Damn it,” Taeil’s soft voice cursed, picking up his books without looking up and mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

Taeyong cocked his head, “You shouldn’t apologise without looking at the person, your apology sounds just as empty as it probably is and makes you look weak.”

A startled Taeil looked up and his eyes met Taeyong’s from behind large glasses that Taeyong hadn’t noticed before. Taeil’s eyes flickered with recognition, “You’re Taeyong, the guy with Doyoung and Johnny and Hansol, right?”

“Yes,”

“Oh, then I’m sorry.” Taeil sighed heavily looking down at the floor pitifully.

Taeyong scratched the back of his neck before bending down to pick up the books that Taeil hadn’t gotten yet.

Taeil started prying the books out his hands almost frantically, “You really don’t have to I’ve got it thank you.”

Taeyong smirked, “What is this more erotica books?”

Taeil spluttered, “T-that, no!”

“Calm down I honestly couldn’t care less,”

Taeil looked a bit put out and Taeyong being the fantastic failure of a conversationalist let the awkward silence fester between them. Taeil opened his store door, slid the trellis doors open and motioned for Taeyong to put the books on the counter. Taeil set down the other books on one of the travelling book shelves beside the counter and the wood groaned loudly.

“One of my roommate’s is a carpenter; you should have him look at that before it collapses completely.”

Taeil blinked, “Oh? But it’s always made that noise, I just assumed it was the noise old wood made…”

Taeyong bit back a laugh less it look like he was laughing at Taeil.

“Hey,” Taeyong called out, seeming to startle Taeil again. “Its lunch time, do you want to grab something to eat with me?”

Taeil very suddenly and dramatically turned a beet red.

Silence stretched between them before Taeil let out a squeaked hiccup and then was silent again.

Taeyong was so damn confused.

“Uh,” Taeil coughed and cleared his throat loudly. “I, um, I don’t think I’m – like a d-date?”

Taeyong’s eyes widened, “Why would you think–” before he realised his words did sound rather suggestive. “Uh, no, not a date, just, just lunch sorry if you thought…”

“No I didn’t think anything! Really it’s perfectly fine!” Taeil’s face going alarmingly redder – if possible, “I’m quite hungry, yes. I would love to thank you there is a coffee shop not too far from here in fact if you’re willing to walk, I mean it is a beautiful day outside and- I’m, yeah, beautiful day, let’s go shall we.”

Taeyong chuckled.

The shorter man pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose self-consciously. “What?” his voice quiet.

“You ramble,” Taeyong answered curtly. “I wasn’t expecting that, it’s quite…”

“Quite what?”

“Cute.”

\-----

Three days later and Lee Taeyong was god damn right, not that Taeil would ever admit it to the aforementioned man.

Taeil knew three things about Taeil that absolutely annoyed him; Taeyong was attractive (if the many stares they got were anything to go by when they went to lunch), Taeyong was a know it all (and very strangely perceptive – he had pointed out every one of Taeil’s insecure mannerisms and nagged the hyung about them every time they came up, which was embarrassingly often) and Taeyong was smug (on top of being younger than him).

Two of Taeil’s often groaning bookshelves broke spectacularly, if he may say so himself.

One thing: Taeil by the end of lunch had Taeyong’s number and he was utterly too terrified to call or text Taeyong (what would he  _possibly_  have to say) so he simply ignored the fact that he had one contact on his phone that wasn’t related to the hospital and tried to think of how to carry on with life without anyone as usual. Unfortunately, the damn shelves gave up on him too and now he was moodily looking at his phone on the counter and his shelves in turn.

He let out a large, pained sigh and slowly reached out for his phone.

Just then the door swung open and a loud boy with a shaggy mop of hair and many piercings walked in seemingly talking to no one until he stepped aside to hold the door open and Taeil saw Doyoung. Taeil almost wept in relief.

“Hey Doyoung,” Taeil called out in a slightly excited tone, if the startled looks on both boys’ faces said anything. “Can I ask you a favour?”

Doyoung looked slightly uneasy but rolled towards Taeil but before Doyoung said anything the other boy thrust his hand in Taeil’s face with a greasy and blatantly flirtatious smile, “Hi I’m Ten and ashamed I’ve never met you before.”

Taeil blinked and shook Ten’s hand before quickly shaking it and taking a slight step away.

Taeil’s eyes flickered down to see Doyoung’s face expressionless but his hands whitened and clutching the arms of his chair in a death grip as if to ground himself.

Ten ploughed on, “How do you know Doyoung and why have I never seen you around?” another flirtatious smile had Taeil feeling entirely uncomfortable and he looked to see Doyoung glaring right at  _him_. “I could have sworn I knew most of the people in our area, do you live in his part of Seoul or did you just move here?”

“Uh, my name is T-Taeil,” he managed but was unable to go further.

The door chimed again and Taeil didn’t look away from the Ten guy but was thankful when Hansol’s voice greeted with a loud, “Hi Taeil, we’re back.”

Ten pouted, “Even Hansol knows you? Why I feel left out.”

Hansol’s handsome face turned hard as he looked at all their faces and then back at Taeil, Taeil really hoped his eyes told Hansol just how uncomfortable he was and apparently they did because the next words out of Hansol’s mouth were harsh. “Ten, stay with the car.”

Ten’s own face hardened and the happy gleam to his eyes turned dangerously angry – Taeil was shaken. Who were these people? He asked himself not for the first time.

Before Taeil registered it Ten was out the door and Hansol’s face softened. “I’m sorry about that he gets a bit much at times, especially around new people.” Hansol strangely went to Doyoung and started massaging the younger man’s shoulders even when Doyoung started to shake him off Hansol held fast until Doyoung seemed to melt into the touch. “Hey what happened to the shelf that was here?”

Taeil blinked. “How did you know there was a shelf there? You’ve only been here once.”

Hansol shrugged, “I’m very observant.”

He nodded, that slight uneasy feeling coming up again, “Well that was actually what I wanted to ask Doyoung about was if he had uh, Yuta I think that was his name, Yuta’s number.”

Hansol smiled at him weirdly, “Why would you think Doyoung has Yuta’s number?”

“Because you guys are all roommates, aren’t you? Well, at least I know Yuta is Taeyong’s roommate.”

“Did Taeyong tell you that?”

“Yes,”

“And you just guessed that we were all roommates because…”

Taeil pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and then instantly regretted it when he saw both Doyoung and Hansol track the movement and then somehow he had a voice that sounded like Taeyong tell him to stop immediately. “I’m very observant too, I guess.”

There was a choked sound from Doyoung and Taeil looked down to see Doyoung huff more strangled sounds that Taeil assumed were laughs with a smirk. After the shocked look wiped off Hansol’s face the tall man smiled at him too. Whatever the reason Taeil felt proud of himself and felt as if he had broken down a large wall he had not known existed between him and the boys in front of him.

“Let me take a look at your shelf to see if you really need that idiot Yuta for this.” Hansol offered, “Doyoung can give you my number while I look at the shelf.”

Another number.

Taeil was feeling slightly lightheaded and warm as Doyoung handed over his phone for Taeil with a one Ji Hansol’s number to copy. Taeil smiled as a way of thank you and handed Doyoung back the phone.

Taeil corrected, “It’s actually three shelves.”

“Three shelves?” The taller man laughed in disbelieve, “Must have been one hell of an accident then.”

Taeil shrugged, “I honestly don’t know what happened they all just collapsed a few hours after each other.”

“Where are they?”

He led them to his fairly large supply room cum office space and right there behind the door were the three broken shelves. Two of them were his travelling shelves that he generally used to transport books from storage to the shelves or when he needed or felt the urge to travel around selling his books in the neighbouring garage sales and small markets, he could. And the other was the groaning shelf that Taeyong had teased him about three days prior. Hansol bent down and inspected them in turn with Doyoung looking over his hyung’s shoulder.

Doyoung and Hansol shared a brief look that Taeil couldn’t decipher before looking at Taeil.

“You’ll definitely need a carpenter I’ll talk to Yuta for you.” Hansol said getting up. “He can be just as much of a brute as Taeyong, initially, but they’re both marshmallows.”

He nodded and led them out the office, locking behind himself again, since it was close to lunch he might well head out with them when they do. Doyoung wheeled himself in between the shelves as Hansol browsed leisurely with no intention of actually buying a book, Taeil could tell the type by now. Doyoung came back with a few books and again Hansol paid for them. Taeil handed the plastic over to Doyoung directly.

“Though sci-fi isn’t one of my strongest suggestions those ones will definitely keep you reading,”

Doyoung gave a full smile, showing off pretty and white teeth. Doyoung was quite an attractive man and Taeil had no shame in admitting it to himself, though he would never, ever,  _ever_  in a million light years say that out loud under any circumstances that do not encompass the threat of death or grievous bodily harm.

When Hansol and Doyoung walked out they didn’t expect to see Taeil step out behind them and lock up the shop.

“Where are you going?” Hansol enquired.

“Well, it’s lunch so I was just going to go two streets down to this coffee shop–”

“The Shinee Cup?”

He beamed, “Yes, I love it there.”

“It’s one of Doyoung and I’s favourite places away from home,” Hansol laughed. “What a coincident, shall we go together?”

“I wouldn’t mind the company I suppose,”

Hansol tusked as the three of them made their way down the street leisurely. “You shouldn’t say that so often it makes you sound weak,”

“Say what?”

“That thing you do when you’re insecure – the  _I think so_ ’s,” The taller man’s eyes sparkled with something close to care.

Taeil nod firmly and felt something bubble in his chest, it was a slightly different feeling from when Taeyong chastised his insecurities but it was a warm feeling nonetheless. It made Taeil feel happy and more secure about himself. The lunch itself was great, as always and unlike the stuttering sentences and pressured silences that Taeil felt in the beginning with Taeyong he felt vaguely comfortable to babble about his favourite books when asked about them without apologies afterwards. They talked about everything and nothing at the same time, though the subject did come up when halfway through lunch Doyoung had still not said a word and Hansol confessed that Doyoung was mute as Doyoung refused to make eye contact, the situation with which that came to be didn’t really have anything to do with Taeil so he didn’t ask and gave a single nod to acknowledge it and moved on to the next subject. The two males facing obviously hadn’t expected him to accept it that easily or that graciously so they stared and as they stared Taeil began to ramble more and more as the silence filled with the sound of his own voice. Eventually the two men smiled and another wall seemed to break between the three of them once they had finished lunch and ready to go their separate ways Taeil felt a nudge at his waist. Doyoung was pushing an object into his hip and when Taeil brought it up to his face to read the screen what he saw made him grin and get that slight lightheaded feeling.

Taeil waved them goodbye and pocketed his phone with Doyoung’s number saved into as well.        

 -----

“It’s adorable though isn’t it?”

“He’s pretty endearing,”

“I can’t believe his taste though I mean Taeyong hyung of all people…”

“I  _know_  he also blushes so easily it’s impossible not to notice!”

“When is Taeyong hyung coming back? He’s been gone for two weeks he’s not usually gone this long without a word.”

Taeyong dropped his back with a thud, “I’m right fucking behind you.” His eyes were bloodshot, there was a gash pink and shiny under his eye, his hair was now a shocking white blond and he wanted  _nothing_ more than to sleep for the next month.

So he understood he looked a little worse for wear but the loud screech of surprise Ten let out was not only embarrassing but a giant pain in the headache the size of a baseball that was pulsing behind Taeyong’s eyes. Mark, Johnny and Ten sat (or sprawled in Johnny’s case) on the plush, red pleather couches.

“Hyung!” Mark was the first to stand and make his way over to Taeyong while asking. “Where have you been?”

Taeyong sighed and accepted a brief hug, “Making fucking money.” He groused letting go of Mark to look at Johnny. “Everyone’s card now has money and I paid all the utilities while I was out so we’re set for a good three months.”

“Yes!” Ten cried jumping off the couch.

Everyone ignored him.

“Taeyong,” Johnny said in that tone that Taeyong knew was influenced 100% by Hansol. “Three months?  _And_ you had left over to fill everyone’s cards, why didn’t you call us to come help you the fuck out, man! You know how dangerous that is when you push yourself like that, what would Hansol fucking think?”

The only thing stopping Johnny from asking what happened to Taeyong and how he got the money was their code. It was one of the unwritten rules they all abided by no matter the cost the two most important never do anything that endangers you or the group and never ask or talk about what happens on a job. They had last long for a reason, especially since they were all young.

“Where is Hansol?”

There was a look that passed the three in the room and Taeyong was immediately set on edge, “Where is Hansol?” he demanded.

“Hey, hey calm down,” Johnny chuckled, “It isn’t what you think he’s perfectly fine he’s out with Doyoung and Taeil.”

A took a moment because the mental image in his head was too foreign for him to comprehend, “He’s with  _who_?”

“Moon Taeil,” Ten smirked. “Attractive little bookstore owner, you know the one, same age as Hansol and Johnny hyung but you wouldn’t be able to tell because he’s all short and cute as a button.”

Taeyong’s fists clenched involuntarily and everyone noticed – it was their job to notice – so instead of furthering their stupid smirks that were reading too much into a  _complete coincident_ Taeyong kept quiet as Mark continued.

“Hansol and Doyoung hyung are both really close to Taeil hyung and Taeil hyung is coming over for the first time today, we’re having a barbeque, Hansol hyung even said Haechan was invited!”

Johnny nodded, “You should make yourself more presentable Taeyongie, Taeil will be here in an hour.”

The rapid shifting of his eyes was merely due to the fact that the air was dry, no matter what the three laughing sons of bitches said with their whistling and cat-calling. Taeyong made his way deliberately slow up the stairs towards his room and then as soon as he was inside his room everything was a blur he had showered (scrubbing every last inch of his skin and hair making him smell like nothing but his minty body wash and mountain fresh shampoo – the fuck if he knows what mountain fresh was supposed to smell like, he just liked the smell. After his shower he walked out the steam filled room to find clothes lain out on his bed as if he were a damn 6 year old but they were his tightest pair of dark wash jeans that got plenty of compliments and a plain black tank top. He scoffed knowing Mark was the only one possible that would dare try to get away with that nonsense.

When made his way back down the stairs it was to the three stooges cat-calling and whistling suggestively.

“Wow, hyung you’re really trying to kill poor, sweet Taeil hyung aren’t you?” Ten leered.

“Shut it,” he threw over his shoulder about to head to the kitchen just as the front door open and Hansol started shouting.

“You three useless idiots come help us with these groceries, right now!” when no one dared to move and they merely listened in amusement as more struggled huffs and curses spewed out of Hansol’s mouth, Hansol shout louder. “I know you’re all just sitting on the couches, just know that I know  _exactly_ where you guys sleep!”

That sure got them moving, even Taeyong.

Johnny and Mark helped a glaring Hansol, Ten took half the hags from and equally glaring Doyoung’s arms and Taeyong caught two paper bags falling out of Taeil’s arms.

Taeil looked up slowly with a grateful smile, “Oh thank… you…  _Taeyong_?” he practically whispered Taeyong’s name, causing a small thrill to hum through Taeyong’s body.

Doyoung and Hansol both looked at Taeyong shocked as well.

At that moment a bronzed and light brown haired boy walked through the doorway everyone was frozen at. “Oh! Taeyong hyung you’re back,” Haechan greeted brightly. “Wow, what happened to your hair hyung?”

\-----  

**Kim Doyoung**

_Do try to stop drooling hyung, you’ll embarrass yourself even worse than that time you choked on your food watching Taeyong hyung drink a glass of water, oh wait that was two minutes ago. Please redeem yourself._

 

Taeil looked up from the text message ready to set fire to everything Doyoung held near and dear. It was ridiculous how dare his _dongsaeng_ mock him like this? He thought as he glared at Doyoung smirking from across the table. Another message alert vibrated and looked down to see it from the same group chat with the only participants being Hansol, Doyoung and himself.

 

**Ji Hansol**

_I will never find a happier moment in life than that one, I think I can die happy._

**Me**

_you guys are the worst human beings alive right now._

  

The aforementioned two worst humans alive laughed out right and promptly choked on their food – Karma was a wonderful thing. Meanwhile, Taeil couldn’t help but glance at Taeyong, worriedly. Even though Taeyong’s new look was certainly very _distracting_ Taeil didn’t miss the pallid look to Taeyong’s skin or the dark circles under his eyes or the pink new scar under his right eye that he knew wasn’t there before. The group brunch was definitely something new to Taeil as well though; he had a hard time focusing on just one amazing thing about the people around him. If it wasn’t Hansol and Doyoung teasing him with their eyes across the table it was Mark and Haechan (not so modestly holding hands up the table) teasing and joking around with their hyungs most recently with Yuta who (to Haechan’s loud observation) came back in the same clothes as the night before and doing the walk of shame in broad, afternoon, daylight to shower and eat the barbeque brunch with them. Or it was how Johnny was constantly being chastised by Hansol and Taeyong to stop eating like a starved pig and calm down or it was Ten throwing out empty compliments and flirtatious winks Taeil and Haechan’s way even as Mark glared from his spot and – much to Taeil’s amusement and shock – Taeyong or it most likely could have very well been the gorgeous man sitting beside him glancing at him through the corner of his eyes only to find the object of his affection’s eyes already on him. Taeil may be shy but he could certainly tell when someone was attracted to him, and would not deny the feeling being 110% reciprocated.

But by the end of brunch it was most definitely the moment Taeyong leaned over to whisper in his ear and then tug on his hand for him to stand up.

“Come upstairs with me.”


	2. Complications and Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil and Taeyong find each other again and Hansol and the squad just wanna help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lies guys,  
> The world never quite warns you when family drama will strike hard and fast and someone (=_=) thinks it's a good idea to break the WiFi router, to prove a point. 
> 
> Due to holiday pressures and more family drama than i can handle, i will update this chapter in two months.  
> Shout at me if you will, i won't care. It is necessary for this last chapter to be good and finally get to proofchecking the mess I've written so far. 
> 
> Happy Holidays! And Happy New Years.

Taeyong lead him upstairs, they turned right at the landing and the first door on the right opened to a large yet sparsely decorated room. What little lined the shelves was either ordered meticulously by size or colour or brand or all of the above, there was two bed side drawers in a deep mahogany and a built in closet with mirrors for doors; other than that the large queen size bed caught all of your attention white crisp white and powered blue patterns swirling at each hospital precise folded corner of the bed.

Taeil tried not to fidget with the sleeves of his sweater paws but the thudding in his chest told him not to ignore the fact that he was in the centre of a room that Taeyong slept in – close to every night – and that Taeil was there practically trembling.

Apparently when Taeyong looked at him the now white blond haired male noticed this and chuckled, “Do you expect me to strip down naked and then lie down on the bed and crook a finger at you like one of your erotica books?”

Taeil bit his lips and thankfully the blush stuck to the tips of his ears, “How long are you going to hold that over my head?” he asked slightly miffed. “I own a bookstore, bookstores have those types of books and it’s not exactly like I was winning any popularity awards.” A look of slight regret passed Taeyong’s face and Taeil took it as a sign to be cheeky and boldly stride over to the bed and sit fully with his back leaning against the headboard. “How do you even know what erotica writers would write anyway?”

Taeyong kept that smirk on as he shed his tank top and slinked onto the bed.

Taeil coughed and then swore his heart lost its rhythm for the full minute (or was it years) it took Taeyong to climb onto the bed and then… flop next to Taeil, out of reach and cuddling the many pillows on the bed, “You think I didn’t read those erotica books I _knew_ Doyoung was reading more than Mark.” Taeyong confessed softly as he closed his eyes.

Taeil really tried to keep his eyes away from Taeyong.

Taeyong who was shirtless – gloriously half naked an arm’s length away from Taeil.

Taeyong who apparently was all sinewy chest muscle and prominent arm muscle for his skinny frame.

Taeil was not _fucking_ prepared for this.

Two weeks away from Taeyong no texts, no calls with next to any news about the disappearing act and now Taeyong was offering his body to Taeil like some Grecian god of temptation. The shock of white blond hair making the younger man look even more other worldly than he already had with his previously brunette hair. Taeil coughed and shifted uncomfortably. Taeyong didn’t move a muscle aside from the small inhale and exhales of his breaths.

Five more minutes passed by slowly.

One more glance at Taeyong to make sure the younger was asleep and then he began to inch his way off from the middle of the bed. An arm snaked around his waist and all breath and sanity left Taeil in one hiccupped gasp.

“ _Hyung_ ,”

He suppressed a violent shudder at the sound of Taeyong’s almost breathy whine.

“Hyung, stop thinking,” Taeyong’s arm effortlessly dragged Taeil into his chest. “Just sleep for a little while, nothing more nothing less.”

He felt a pair of soft lips press against the nape of his neck, “Unless you want to do more, _hyung_ ,” An obvious teasing edge to Taeyong’s voice behind him.

Taeil rolled his eyes and kicked at Taeyong’s legs, “Now you’re just making fun of me and I do not appreciate that, I’m your hyung respect that word.”

As he felt Taeyong slowly falling asleep against his back Taeil reeled at the foreign feeling of simply sharing this small intimacy with someone not related to him or someone that felt obligated to hold him this close, it was absolutely surreal. This was Taeyong, Lee Taeyong who he had only had lunch with _one time_ , though it lasted a good 4 hours which was a bit long to still consider it a lunch, the same man that he now knows had purposefully dismantled his creaky shelves so that he could see Taeil again.

(Of course he hadn’t planned to not see Taeil for a fortnight, condemned to work that had to be taken care of)  

But now the whole group seemed to have adjusted and even approved of him, in their strange little ways.

Taeil eventually snuggled into the warmth of Taeyong’s arms (as cliché as it sounds it was to date Taeil’s favourite thing) and tried not to think of all the ways he knew it could go wrong.

For the first time in a long time Taeil wished that things would stay exactly the way they were.

\-----

“They are so damn cute!”

“I cannot believe this room is finally getting to see some action,”

“I still can’t believe hyung chose Taeyong hyung of all people the available people in this house– Ow fuck!”

“Hush, you idiots Taeyong will wake up!”

Taeyong huffed, wrapping his arm tighter around a sleeping Taeil, opening his eyes to see Haechan, Johnny, Ten and Hansol in his doorway. Hansol noticed Taeyong open eyes and gave a larger grin by way of waking Taeyong back into the land of the living instead of what he really wanted which was for them to go the fuck away. The four continued to bicker as Taeyong looked down at the person pressed against his chest and revelled in the very pleased mood he’d woken up in (notwithstanding the squad of idiots at the door).

He thought of how, if he were alone, he would take advantage of the available supple skin at the nape of Taeil’s neck. Kiss it and cover it in kitten licks and small nips until the older of them finally opened his eyes with a shock. Taeil being Taeil would blush and maybe, just maybe Taeyong would be daring enough to follow the path of that blush with soft lips across Taeil sharp jaw down his hyung’s bobbing Adam’s apple and follow that adorable flush of colour to a place under Taeil’s sweater. Maybe the blush ended at Taeil’s collarbone so that Taeyong could mark them up the way he wanted to, blooming bruises and a moaning Taeil below him. That would all be before he would climb his way back up Taeil’s body and finally taste the plush lips that in all honesty had him going crazy at the mere thought of for two weeks.

But of course what actually happened was Taeil waking up with a start to five set of eyes on him and immediately pulling himself away from Taeyong.

Much to everyone’s disappointment.

“I have to get going now,”

Instead of Taeyong speaking up Hansol beat him to it, “But why? You can stay over and we can watch movies on that big TV I saw you drooling over.”

Taeyong sat up and Taeil’s eyes wondered back to Taeyong’s body before quickly meeting the blond man’s eyes. “I’m leaving town for a few days to visit… family.” Taeil said the last part so quietly he was immediately on high alert.

“How long will you be gone?”

Taeil shrugged, “Four days at most.”

There was silence as Taeil stared intently at a spot on Taeyong’s bed and Taeyong was trying to read the situation as best he could but with Hansol and Johnny and Ten _and even_ Haechan gesturing wildly at him he furrowed his brows and then offered, “I’ll drive you back to the bookstore then.”

Taeyong wasn’t sure if he really saw disappointment flash behind Taeil’s eyes or not, but he certainly saw the frustrated looks the aforementioned squad of imbeciles sent him. Taeil said he would go downstairs first and say goodbye to the others.

Hansol, once more was the first to speak, “Could you be any more stupid?”

He felt every muscle in his body tense up, Hansol was way too invested in Taeil and he really despised the fact that Hansol felt like he could insert himself anytime he felt like it. He said none of this though and instead opting for finding his tank top with a growled, “What are you on about?”

“Taeil hyung would really appreciate you going with him,” Haechan replied with an exaggerated sigh. “Come on hyung, it wouldn’t be the worst idea to spend time with him away the others.”

He nodded shortly and made his way to the door but a hand to his chest stopped him.

“Taeyong I need to talk to you,”

He roughly removed Hansol’s hand from his chest, “We’ll talk about it when I come back, _hyung_.” He practically spat.

Hansol sucked in a deep breath the look in his eyes dangerously seething but Taeyong wasn’t about to back down or cower, Hansol shouldn’t be needlessly worrying himself over Taeil in Taeyong’s opinion, “Hyung why don’t you keep fucking around with Johnny hyung’s head and leave Taeil out of it.”

“ _Excuse me,_ ”

The room burned with Hansol’s rage and Taeyong got a sick sense of satisfaction from walking out as Hansol spluttered uselessly – on a certain level Taeyong knew what he was doing was petty and uncalled for, instead his actions called on by that multi-headed monster named jealousy – but damn if he was going to let Hansol feel like he could lay claim on every person he liked.

Taeyong wanted Taeil and Taeyong would get him.

\-----

Taeil felt slightly awkward and nervous in the car as Taeyong drove them to the bookstore.

He was suddenly unsure about a lot of things; where he stood with Taeyong, what Taeyong felt for him, if Taeyong felt anything for him…

It was all well and good to tease and be playful behind closed doors and of course throughout lunch he had felt Taeyong staring at him just as much as he had looked at him. His chest burned slightly at all the uncertainty nonetheless. He wasn’t used to this; he was just a bookstore owner, he was an introvert, he spoke with a soft voice that he hated because he couldn’t sound anything but weak, he cut himself and felt depression and anxiety squeeze the air out of his lungs close to every day, he had fits and cut himself bloody and though he knew he would love for Taeyong to want him, for Taeyong to _want_ to be with him in more than sexual way he felt a bubble of panic because how would he hide the scars? There weren’t many anymore but the ones that were there were raised and discoloured and as ugly as the feelings that brought on that behaviour.

Taeyong wouldn’t want him after he saw that – _oh God_ , Taeyong would probably be as disgusted at them as Taeil was.

The pain grew.

_Pity and disgust morphed onto Taeyong’s beautiful face as he took in the jagged lines and cross hatching of scar tissue from years of Taeil’s deeds._

Because he was older he no longer left as many scars, he simply cut for the brief reprieve it bought him but when he was younger he cut deep and with whatever sharp object he found in the homes he got moved to and then eventually moved out of – fuck, fuck, fuck he would have to try find an explanation to why he cut, try to _explain that_ to Taeyong. Let Taeyong know _everything_ even the fact that he was the reason for his dad–

“Hey we’re here,” Taeyong told him softly.

Taeil didn’t dare meet Taeyong’s eyes as he scrambled to get out the car. He wasn’t sure if he had even said goodbye all he knew was that tears were burning his eyes as he tried to open the shop with shaking hands.

 _Please, please not here, not outside._ He begged every god he could remember.

He knew panicking about the pending fit would only amplify his emotions but he couldn’t help it and when he finally got the door and trellis doors open, then locking behind him, he could only feel anger at how slow he was; seriously what _grown man_ was thrown into a panic because they were unable to open their front door. He waved at Taeyong’s car still idling at the curb and watched it peel away after he was safely inside. The tears began to fall from his eyes as he was on his staircase. He tripped, landing heavily on his side, searing pain flared up his ribcage and as he cried he relished that pain.

His thoughts were a mess.

There was Taeyong, Taeyong with his wonderfully soothing voice whenever he spoke to Taeil but with Taeyong there was uncertainty. _Was he even good enough for someone like Taeyong?_ Surely Taeyong would get bored of him once the younger found out about how useless he was, how he couldn’t even stop the urge to cut himself for more than two weeks. Taeil had cut twice while Taeyong was gone, _is that what Taeyong wanted to be stuck with?_ Taeyong stuck with a 26 year old hyung who couldn’t even stop being a psycho for two weeks.

Then the hospital had called him while he was out with Hansol and Doyoung. He needed to go to Busan immediately because his adoptive father was going critical; the same father who had had a stroke because of Taeil.

Taeil was just a plague to everyone.

He’d been in and out of foster homes because he was either too soft for a boy, too quiet to appease his new adoptive parents looking for a lively and active baby boy or just _too Taeil_. But then when he was 14 years old the Moon household adopted him. They had first accepted he was gay and then accepted he was quiet and shy and then accepted he was a little strange but not much – always just a little more interested in books than people, always too willing to escape into fantasy than face his realities.

He was too Taeil for the people around him, _everyone suffered because of him so why should he let Taeyong suffer the same fate?_

_He was not worth it._

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed on the stairs, a few hours maybe. This time he was able to quell the urge to cut himself but not by much but his ribs hurt enough for him not want to do anything except strip his clothes and curl foetal position in his cold and empty bed.

He slept fitfully, and when his alarm rang he had only slept two hours at best. He had to prepare himself for when he reached Busan. His adoptive sister and mother would be there, he had to prepare to face them – maybe for the last time, the hospital hadn’t been very specific but they had called for the family of one Moon Jaehyuck which was a sign that they were to say their final goodbyes before the hospital turned off the machines keeping his father alive.

He was going into this blind and defenceless but he would do it because his father, no matter how misguided Taeil thought it was, had requested Taeil be there at his bedside during his final moments as part of the family, one last time.

Taeil’s eyes swept the room one more time before locking up. His duffel bag strapped firmly across his chest and his wallet in his back pocket. It was really early in the morning with the sun shining on everything yet it still being nippy enough for the dew to not be fully gone.

So imagine his surprise when he turned around to find Lee Taeyong leaning against the hood of his car and staring at Taeil intently.

“Always pegged you for an early riser,”

Taeil couldn’t move.

Taeyong stepped closer and waved a hand in front of his face. “Well, Hansol hyung warned me this might happen.” Taeyong chuckled.

His mouth opened and yet still he couldn’t speak, _what was Taeyong doing here?_

Taeyong gripped him by the shoulders and steered him to the car, the younger man even went as far as buckling him in. In that time, apparently Taeyong was a bit of a nervous talker too, “The hyungs told me you didn’t have a car so I thought that you were probably going to take the bus.” Taeyong closed the door and then walked around the car and buckled into the driver’s side. “I personally do not trust public transportation and thought that I might as well be your personal driver, so, _hyung_ where are we going?”

That sure got to him but he just barely managed, “B-Busan.”

“Then off we go _hyung_ ,”

Taeil bit his lip, “Can you go back to calling me Taeil or just you know, not hyung, or at least stop saying it that way.” He said in a rushed breath.

“So he lives,” Taeyong smirked.

“Stop teasing me,”

“But _hyung_ ,”

Taeil turned his back, wholly facing the window and Taeyong burst out laughing. This was going to be a very long drive. But Taeil couldn’t deny the fond and tender feelings blooming in his chest at the thought that Taeyong was there for him.

\-----

Taeyong had been driving for around two hours and Taeil had been sleeping for 90 minutes of those. He had long since turned the radio only and mindlessly listening to the most current popular songs, he wasn’t sure he liked any of them but he didn’t mind them it just added to the background noise.

He and Hansol had had a _long_ talk last night and the first half hour of that was Hansol blatantly screaming at him. When he had gone back to the house after dropping Taeil off he had expected some anger but Hansol had been absolutely infuriated. Taeyong had only himself to blame. Some of the things he’d said were uncalled for and so were the things that Hansol had screamed. It had taken Ten, Johnny, Mark and Yuta to break them apart – Haechan having gone home shortly after Taeyong left and Doyoung having wheeled himself out the room to most likely lock himself in his studio.

Then he had finally told them about the hit on Taeil.

Everything stopped. Doyoung came back into the room when Mark called him and then Hansol had Taeyong relay the entire reason he had sought out Taeil in the first place. There had been that eerie silence were they had had not known whether to look Taeyong in the eye or not and then Taeyong told them he was never going to do it. Don’t get him wrong that amount of money would mean a lot of great things for their group but that first time he’d met Taeil he’d been stumped at the awkward and blushing bookstore owner.

If he was being truly honest as soon as he had seen the sad eyes and small kind wave Taeil had thrown his and Doyoung’s way that first day he had thrown that plan away.

But he did want to get closer to the older male. So, he had surveyed and watched from a far and even witnesses the way Taeil stumbled; being over powered by those teens. After Johnny and Hansol had intimidated them out the store Taeyong had done one up and tracked them down and beat down on them enough to leave a reminder to give Taeil and Taeil’s shop a wide fucking berth.

But then things seemed to not make any sense, the person who ordered the hit obviously didn’t know Taeil all that well or knew something about Taeil that Taeyong still had yet to learn in order to give Taeyong the details he did. Taeil was going to visit family and Taeil was a bit introverted yes, but Taeil certainly did not have “ _nothing”_. Taeil was smart and quirky and awkward at times with sad eyes yet a beautiful voice and an even more beautiful personality to go with a sharp brain. Taeyong had known this within four hours of sitting down with Taeil over lunch. The client who ordered the hit must not know Taeil at all in order to say that, Taeyong thought with certainty, but then why order the hit on a man you barely know?

 _Remind him it’s for his father._ The email had said.

Is Taeil’s father a bad guy then? Is the man that ordered the hit from Busan then?

Johnny had been the first to insist Taeyong go with Taeil to Busan. Everyone else had varying degrees of agreement but the air was uneasy because who would ever put a hit on Taeil of all the _possible_ people in downtown Seoul, Taeil was nowhere near one of the first to consider.

So Taeyong had to protect him until he could track down and kill the man that ordered the hit and any possible mercenaries hired to do the job. A bit hypocritical but Taeyong protected those he cared about and he… cared about Moon Taeil.

“Taeyong,”

He looked over only to find Taeil still fast asleep. Taeyong chuckled a bit, Taeil was dreaming about him.

“Taeyong, wait, Tae–” Taeil cut off with a choke.

His eyebrows furrowed and he spared a short glance to the side before his eyes were trained back to the road again. Taeil’s hands were clutching the seatbelt at his chest in a grip so tight they left his knuckles near bloodless and his face was scrunched up as if in immense pain.

Taeil’s breaths were coming in faster and faster, “Taeyong, I-I’m sorry, I-I can’t help it! It’s just,” another choked off noise produced in the back of his throat that had Taeyong thinking Taeil was probably crying. “I-I’ll stop, please, I s-swear I’ll stop doing it just _please_ –”

“Hyung,” Taeyong called, something was wrong so very wrong with the way Taeil was saying and what he was saying and in all honesty it was freaking Taeyong out if his increased heartrate was anything to go by. “Taeil hyung wake up.”

“ _Please, Taeyong_ –”

“Taeil, wake up.”

“ _Please,_ ” Taeil was crying in earnest now. “ _Please don’t leave me,_ ”

“Hyung!” Taeyong shouted nearly slamming the brakes and roughly shaking Taeil by the shoulders.

Taeil woke with a gasp, jerking forward so fast that he choked himself with the seatbelt.

It was dead silent as Taeil struggled to get his breathing back to normal. Taeyong’s knuckles were white as he steadied himself and tried not to let his frustration seep into his voice, “Hyung, what was that? What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Taeil choked, swiping quickly at his eyes.

He rolled his eyes, “You’re most definitely not fine!” fuck, he couldn’t help the anger but Taeil was already curling in on himself and turning to completely face the window. This time it wasn’t joking and teasing, Taeyong could hear the shakiness of Taeil’s every breath and Taeil wasn’t say a word, instead filling the car with an uncomfortable tension that Taeyong was not handling well. “Hyung, talk to me. What was that?”

“Just a bad dream,” The other replied hollowly.

“Do you need me to stop the car?” Taeyong continued when Taeil didn’t answer, “Hyung, please just–”

“I said I’m _fine_ Taeyong!” Taeil snapped.

Taeyong’s jaw snapped closed.

And although both men in the car were clearly upset and not saying anything when a rest stop came 10 minutes later Taeyong indicted and then turned into it without hesitation.

\-----

“ _Taeil, what happened?”_

Taeil sighed into his cell phone, “Hansol, how did you know something was wrong.” His eyes flickered onto the snacks on the shelf. “What type of snacks does Taeyong eat?”

 _“What? I don’t know ask Doyoung, hold on a second… Mark!”_ There was shuffling going around in the background as Taeil took some of his favourite comfort biscuits and chips. _“You’re on speaker,”_

_“Hey hyung,”_

Taeil gave a small smile, “Hey Mark,”

_“You should just get anything with caramel in it; Taeyong hyunggie has a strangely sweet tooth. But he really doesn’t like caramel popcorn, it gets stuck in his teeth and he hates that.”_

“Noted,” Taeil said grabbing a bag of toffee treats just for the heck of but then saw the price of all the caramel flavoured treats, he regretfully put all his snacks back on the shelf. “Thank you Mark,”

 _“No problem Taeil hyung, enjoy your night with hyung tonight but don’t stay up too late you probably should get some sleep though.”_ Taeil could hear the smirk on the other end of the line and a screech (probably Ten laughing and rolling on the floor).

There was a series of rushed noises and the phone most likely hitting the floor as a voice (Hansol) screamed.

_“Lee Minhyung what would your brother think of you speaking like that to Taeil of all people!”_

Taeil blinked, _Lee Minhyung…?_ Many people in South Korea had that surname it was almost as common as Kim, but surely if Taeyong and Mark were related Taeil would know by now, right? _Right?_

Taeil would really like to think so but as he so fabulously displayed in the car, though he had serious feeling for Taeyong, he didn’t know all that much about Taeyong and Taeyong didn’t know all that much about him. That revelation had him feeling something and it definitely wasn’t a nice feeling. He felt kind of wrong and selfish for not having tried. He’d gotten to know the others well enough but the one member of the two story household that held all the people he could call friends, he knew next to nothing about.

 _“Sorry about that,”_ Hansol’s voice apologised, sounding slightly winded, with a voice still howling with laughter in the background. _“Now, what is wrong? Taeyong never texts people unless it’s important and he has been texting Doyoung for a solid twenty two minutes.”_

“Are Mark and Taeyong related?” he asked instead standing at the cash register of the minimarket with a basket of Taeyong’s (hopefully) favourite treats and one can of Taeil’s favourite soda (because it was the cheapest thing that the amount of money he brought could afford unless he wanted to be penniless before he even got to Busan).

 _“Yes, they’re brothers.”_ Hansol snapped, _“Now can you stop trying to change the subject and tell me what is going on with you two over there?”_

Taeil sighed loudly again, thanked the sour-faced lady at the cash register and walked with his plastic bag of goods slowly towards the exit. He wasn’t quite sure he wanted to face the horrible way he’d handled himself earlier. They still had two more hours to spend in a car together where Taeyong wouldn’t be able to run for the hills if he so wished if Taeil decided to tell him the whole truth immediately… but Taeil would at least have to tell Taeyong about the dream he’d had. He shuddered, “Damn it.”

_“Taeil?”_

“Sorry,” He instantly apologies and immediately heard Hansol tusk. “Yeah, yeah I know apologising for nothing. It was just – I had a bad dream while I was sleeping in the car and Taeyong heard me say a few things that obviously freaked him out and then I blew up in his face when he asked me what was wrong. It’s nothing,” another sigh. “I’m going to talk to him as soon as I get back in the car, so don’t worry.”

Hansol tusked again, _“I swear the rest of us are in this relationship just as much as you two are.”_

He frowned, “That’s not really fair to say things like that,”

_“Well when one of you idiots is emotionally constipated and the other has, let’s face it Taeil, built an emotional wall around himself so high he can’t even remember what it’s like to see over the other side I feel like having just us isn’t enough to keep you two afloat.”_

_“Hansol…”_ a voice warned, but Taeil was almost too angry to even register that Johnny was helping.

“Shut up Johnny,” Taeil snapped and for the first time in a long time his voice held real anger in it, “and Hansol where do you get off saying things like that?”

 _“I’m just stating the obvi_ – _”_

“No you don’t,” he had stopped in the middle of the entrance and was now hissing like a crazy man into his phone. “I may not have known Taeyong as long as you guys might have but he is not emotionally constipated he feels things and expresses emotion just as well around me when _you_ are not around so maybe it is something in that house that is the problem _Hansol_. And maybe yes I may have a few issues to get through in order to let someone see all of me, intimately and emotionally, in that way but you certainly do not get the right to write it off as if it is as simple as starting a new sport. You don’t know me all that well Hansol and you _do not_ get to determine whether my feelings are worth _keeping afloat_!”

He ended the call angrily, his finger slipping a bit and in his frustration simply throwing his phone in the grocery bag before marching to the parked car as Taeyong leaned against the passenger side door.

He stood in front of Taeyong and took a deep breathe in, filling his lungs almost to capacity, and then spoke. “I want you to know that I like you. In the romantic sense of the word not the kind of like I reserve for your roommates or the like people reserve for all things they find vaguely attractive every 2.5 seconds of their lives, much like Haechan. But the sort of warm and sort of sickening feeling I have for things I know I should not want because they could possibly hurt me, like books – I say that only because I don’t go out much and I’m very closed off because, because I’ve just always been like that and I’ve never really had friends like you guys – but you aren’t my friend. No offense, I don’t want you as a friend, I want you as more than a book I really enjoy and more as a friend I’ve never had, does that make sense, did that make sense, did any of that make sense? Oh God, it didn’t did it. ”

Taeyong blinked.

His damned blushing started all over again and Taeil felt like if there was a sudden sinkhole formation right beside him he wouldn’t mind jumping into it in a heartbeat. “I guess I should also tell you that my dream wasn’t ’ _nothing’_ as you most likely guessed,” he was speaking much slower now and refused to look Taeyong in the eyes. “It hurt me, quite a lot, b-because I’ve done things and I’m not perfect and I’m afraid as soon as you get over the weird glamor of not knowing me you’ll leave once you realize I’m not worth half the trouble I cause. But like a book, I want to get to know you even if I know there will be an ending.”

“Nice,”

It was Taeil’s turn to stare now, _nice? Really._

“Nice?” Taeil scoffed, “Maybe I shouldn’t have spoken so fast when Hansol called you emotionally constipated.” He remarked not a little but a lot bit hurt by Taeyong’s lack of reaction.

Taeyong winced, “No, sorry I mean, uh, that’s more than I would have said, I understand less than half of what you said but I mean – fuck, I like you too.” Taeil watched Taeyong have his own mental breakdown. “Yeah, I like you, I’ve liked you for a while and I assumed by the way you didn’t completely write off my existence that you might have liked me too…Yeah,”

Taeil smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, “That’s a pretty large assumption to make towards someone you didn’t even know existed until three or so weeks ago,”

Taeyong seemed to lose the panicked look in his eyes and returned Taeil’s playful smirk. “I’m pretty confident in my own subpar communications skills to communicate when I’m interested in someone.”

“Well, since we’re being honest and grown adults about this courting business,”

Taeyong laughed loudly, “Courting, wow.”

He continued as if nothing had interrupted him, “I would like to admit that I asked your younger brother, the one I didn’t know existed until a few minutes ago, what your favourite treats are. But I didn’t have enough money to buy me any snacks and I would actually really like some–”

While Taeil had been speaking Taeyong reached a hand into the open rear window – Taeil hadn’t even noticed it wasn’t closed, how long had he been in that minimart? – and then taking a small grocery plastic out and opening it in order for Taeil to see the contents filled with Taeil’s favourite snacks.

He smiled widely with pink gently dusting his cheeks, “I guess we did the same thing.”

Taeyong scratched the back of his head, “This counts as our first couple gift exchange right?”

“C-couple?”

Taeyong smirked, quickly exchanging their shopping bags and cheekily revving the engine as Taeil continued to stare, absolutely stumped.

 

One more stop and three hours of driving had them in Busan in one piece by the time lunch time rolled around. Taeyong began to use the GPS on his phone at some point while Taeil was asleep and so when Taeil woke up it was to find Taeyong shouldering all of their luggage and a valet standing beside the car with Taeyong’s car keys firmly in his grasp. Taeil blearily got out the car and tried to take one of the three bags Taeyong was carrying but Taeyong was apparently having none of that.

Once Taeil got to his senses he finally realised that Taeyong was checking them into a hotel, a very grand hotel, with glass revolving doors, valets, a bellboy that took their luggage, floors so shining he could see his every move in them, glossy gold finishes on every surface and not to mention mirrors on the ceilings so you could really see how small and insignificant you are to be standing in such a place. Above all, it was out of Taeil’s price range and would not even feature Taeil’s wildest dreams so when Taeyong, after procuring a set of keys, steered them to the lifts – all glass, gold and mirrors of course – Taeil started protesting in a whispered hush.

 _There were foreigners there_ ; he didn’t want to be internationally known for being a crazy Korean man. “Taeyong, I cannot afford this place.”

“It’s okay,” he said somewhat stoically, “My job offers me these luxuries from time to time.”

The elevator doors closed in front of them and in the reflective surfaces Taeil saw the bellboy giving them a funny look so Taeil lowered his voice even further, “Taeyong this is ridiculous I don’t care if you’re the richest man in all of Seoul, I will not allow you to pay this much for a bed I’m going to sleep in for two nights _at the most_ ,”

The elevator doors opened onto the 4th floor.

Taeyong threw a smile over his shoulder, “It’s okay and I’ll enjoy _our_ bed enough for the both of us.”

Taeil lost his breath as Taeyong opened the door and ushered the bellboy in after a quick sweep of his eyes across the large, open-planned room. At the entrance there was granite kitchen top counters hugging the wall, there was a mini fridge, a microwave and a coffeemaker. Taeil didn’t even have a coffeemaker in his home for Pete’s Sake. There was an L-shaped couch with fluffy throw pillows (He did not have throw pillows!) in front of a plasma screen television set with surround sound speakers, a door to a bathroom with a bath tub _and_ a shower, a balcony next to the L-shaped couch and then when they entered the bedroom one massive bed took over the space only leaving enough room for a small balcony there too.

Taeil was going to pass out.

Taeyong thanked the bellboy, gave him a tip and then took Taeil by the hand, plopping the older man onto of the bed while he changed into a pair of loose shorts. _Only, a pair of loose shorts_.

Taeil willed himself stronger. “Taeyong,”

The sinful man in question crawled onto the bed, striped Taeil of his baggy sweater and left him in his long sleeved white shirt and beige shorts, “Yes, hyung?”

“You’re being unfair.” Taeil whispered as he let himself be dragged into Taeyong’s chest.

Taeyong shrugged, “I never said I was a fair person, that’s something you should know about your boyfriend.”

Taeil whirled around in Taeil’s arms with a large frown.

Taeyong chuckled. Taeil didn’t.

“How can you say that so lightly?”

Taeyong stopped laughing and closed his eyes holding Taeil tighter, “Because I’m not kidding.”

“But, we barely know each other.” He whispered insecurely.

He felt Taeyong shrug, “People have decided to become a couple with a whole lot less than we have,” Taeyong opened his eyes slowly and looked at him. “That’s if you’ll have me hyung. Do you want me to be your boyfriend?”

His heart thud loudly in his chest, there were so many things he could argue over, some many things that still bothered him but goodness as soon as he saw the vulnerability in Taeyong’s eyes – the vulnerability that Taeyong was so easily able to show Taeil when Taeil was insecure and hesitant – it was quickly one of his favourite things about Taeyong.

“Fine you big idiot,” Taeil exhaled in a rush, feeling near giddy as he said the words. “We can be boyfriends, even though you haven’t even tried taking me on a date yet. I will state this now and have it on record how backwards I think your planning is.”

“Fine, let me talk you out to dinner tonight. You, me and the restaurant downstairs that I know are more than willing to put candles on a table if I ask.”

He frowned feeling a little ugly something begin rising his head, “Taeyong, why would they, have you asked them before?”

Taeil could see the mirth shining in the younger man’s eyes, “No.” Taeyong cleared his throat. “No, I have a – friend… that works here.”

“You have friends that you don’t live with?” Taeil joked with an easier smile.

“Goodness,” Taeyong scoffed, his voice getting softer and progressively sleepier even it was still early afternoon. “Those people are not my friends, just necessary burdens I bare because they all pay utility with me – more of a good investment if anything, hardly friends of mine.”

Taeil laughed until he yawned and then Taeyong yawned and shortly after, unsure exactly who feel asleep first, a warm dreamless sleep ensued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See not so much a cliff hanger as a cute little finish.
> 
> (^^)/ see you soon.  
> *runs*

**Author's Note:**

> Don't kill me, don't kill me, don't kill me!  
> I'll have the rest of this up either in the next 10 hours or Damn It i'll see you tomorrow morning. It is currently 6 am.  
> Merry Happy "Hey it's that 25th" of December day!


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